Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
