also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
