ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
