I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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