are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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