absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
