Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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