After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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