were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
do herpes really smell.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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