im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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