hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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