dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize