he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
