God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize