the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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