Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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