It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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