Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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