I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
