he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
