I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
