Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
