Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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