Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
