I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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