On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
