We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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