Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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