i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
PANTIES FOUND
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
