i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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