Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
