I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
