Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
