Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
