She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
