I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
