I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
