so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
