planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
pray to the hookup gods
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
