We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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