you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
