Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
