I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
