i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize