lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
