4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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