DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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