I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
