just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
