Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
