Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
