I'm jealous of your bromance
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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