As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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