): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
