He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
