evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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