So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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