Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
