Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Holy shit dude........stairs
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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